


Height Difference

by IHaveNotTurnedGOOD (strangeradventuresofstarwars)



Category: Green Wing
Genre: F/M, Guy Plays A Dangerous Game, Humor, Sue Wants To Murder Him, This Is STUPID, Typical Green Wing Insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 21:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18535816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeradventuresofstarwars/pseuds/IHaveNotTurnedGOOD
Summary: Guy Secretan should learn to keep his mouth shut when it comes to the height of Sue White.





	Height Difference

I don’t own anything. 

 

“What happened to you, mate?” Mac raises an eyebrow at Guy Secretan as he enters the break room.

In a bit of a mess to be fair.

“Long story.” Guy waves a hand at his best friend.

“You pissed Sue off again didn’t you?” Angela interprets from behind the counter.

“I didn’t piss her off exactly I just said the wrong thing.” Guy argues.

“Even if you allude to the wrong thing with Sue it’s very likely that she’s going to plan to murder you. Come on, tell us what you did?” Mac takes a seat.

“I think what we should be asking is what hasn’t he done.” Caroline banters as she slides into a seat beside Mac.

“Well it is Guy.” Martin interjects.

“Standing right here, Fartin.” Guy grumbles.

“What did you do?” Caroline presses.

“I might have briefly alluded to the fact that Sue is a lot shorter than me. It’s just a fact not an insult or anything and yet here I am having narrowly escaped with my life.” Guy explains to immediate groans from his group of friends.

“Why on earth did you do that? Did you want to get yourself killed?” Caroline shakes her head at him.

“It’s just a fact, jesus I didn’t mean anything bad by it.” Guy protests.

“Sorry I have to agree with Caroline here. What were you thinking?” Mac also starts to shake his head at Guy.

“Did you at least try to apologise?” Angela queries.

“Sort of.”

“Sort of?” The group harmonise.

“I tried to plead my case first but it didn’t exactly work out the way I planned it too.” Guy admits.

“Should’ve just apologised and left it at that.” Mac points out as Guy sighs.

“I’d try again but I think she’s still...” Guy tilts his head to the side.

“About ready to kill you? Might take a while for her to calm down.” Martin suggests.

“Yeah, air on the side of caution mate, we want you to live.” Mac nods.

“We do?” Caroline nudges him.

“Meh.” Mac smirks.

“Ha ha very funny.” Guy rolls his eyes at him.

“Who said they were joking.” Angela quips.

“I know they are. They all love my really, right?” Guy eyes his friends.

“Should we go for lunch?” Caroline suggests.

“Yes.” Mac leaps up from his seat.

“We shall.”

 

Heading to the canteen as a group, Guy stops abruptly when he sees Sue sat on the top of a counter.

“Is there um another way to the canteen? He might be an utter prick at time but I’m starving and I don’t want to watch a murder.” Martin whispers.

“He needs to answer for his crimes.” Angela states as both she and Caroline push Guy forth into Sue’s line of sight.

“Hey sweetheart, how’s your day? Please don’t kill me the world would be... argh!” Guy winces when Sue wraps her long legs around his waist and drags him closer so they’re face to face and with her sitting on the tall desktop they’re just about the same height.

“I didn’t mean what I said you’re not that short... it wasn’t meant to be an insult I swear to god. I wasn’t trying to offend you I really...”

“Pull yourself together!” Sue barks at Guy to stop his frantic babbling.

“I bet you fifty pounds that he’s going to die in the next five minutes.” Martin bets to Mac, Caroline and Angela in the background.

“I should’ve kept my mouth shut.” Guy continues.

“Hmm.” Sue glowers at him.

“Still wondering if I should cut your legs off to prevent any further incidents.” Sue contemplates darkly.

“I’m sure we can come to another arrangement.” Guy winces in fear.

“We’ll see, donkey boy.” She growls, gripping his chin in between her long fingers.

“Please don’t cut my legs off.” Guy practically begs.

“Don’t give me another reason to then.” Sue growls at him.

“I mean bit harsh.”

“You know I really don’t think I was being harsh enough.” Sue hisses.

“Seriously next time you want to me to bend down just...”

“Get a stool.” Is Martin’s suggestion.

“Punch him in the stomach.” Is Caroline and Angela’s idea.

“I thought we were going for lunch.” Is Mac’s answer.

“Just ask me to bend down! Jesus none of those please.” Guy practically begs as Sue let’s out an almost evil sounding laugh.

“Except maybe the lunch thing. Yes to the lunch thing.” Guy holds his hands up.

“Or just sit on a desk like that.” Mac eventually decides to put an idea forth.

“It could work.” Guy shrugs when there’s a moment of silence.

“It already has.” Sue replies, gesturing to how she’s got Guy trapped in place with her legs.

“I’m really sorry.” Guy apologises again.

“Are you now?” Sue raises an eyebrow at him.

“Very. I won’t call you short again.”

“And I’ll endeavour not to slice off your legs.”

“Works for me.” Guy chuckles and closes the gap between them.

Sue accepting the kiss and using the desk to get closer to the man.

“Should we still be here?” Martin whispers in the background.

“Lunch? Lunch think we should go to lunch?” Caroline shares nods with Angela, Martin and Mac.

“To the canteen for lunch.” Mac states leading the others towards the canteen.

“Coming?” Guy offers when Sue pushes him back.

“Nah they wouldn’t want me around.”

“I do.”

“I’ve got stuff to do. Plans to make, shit to deal with. I’ll see you later, donkey.” Sue waves him off.

Guy stopping briefly to press a kiss to her forehead in farewell.

“Higher heels to acquire.” Sue mumbles.

She’s not that short!

“Now that might work... ow!” Guy groans when she throws a projectile at him.

“Don’t make me cut your legs off!”

“You wouldn’t...”

“Wanna bet donkey boy?!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is rubbish I apologise for this I was just going through my tumblr & there was this picture of Stephen Mangan & Michelle Gomez standing beside one another and she’s so much shorter than he is & this monstrosity was born. I doubt many will read this but thank you so much for reading & please comment if you can I’d love to hear your thoughts on this story.


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